Broccoli Satay

Tiny Morsels for Hot Days. Oh, and Feet.

Global friends you may by now have realised that in the UK we are categorically not used to this kind of heat. Every retailer in the green and pleasant land has been sold out of fans and air con units for weeks (friends and family, please stop messaging - I might work for Screwfix but I don’t have special access to a secret personal supply chain of this stuff🤦‍♀️).

This country and its entire creaking infrastructure, as well as it’s prevailing mindset, is optimised for sixteen degrees, some light drizzle, and absolutely nothing else. So right now as I sit in the shade in my pants, melting, and glugging Pimms, I can barely be arsed to eat anything.

Except, as a child of the 80s, the culinary wonder that is Funny Feet. I mean who wouldn’t want to eat a fake strawberry flavoured garishly pink ice cream in the shape of a foot? The big toe is my favourite, I always suck that first.

Now I’m thinking of Fergie (the ex royal, not the one from the Black Eye Peas) 🤮

Anyway. At some point, something marginally more nutritious does need to pass my lips, thus a simple small plate seems manageable, and this broccoli satay is one of my favourites. I think they used to do this at Wagamama’s but I’ve not seen it for ages, so I imagine it’s been replaced by an altogether more trendy organic sticky miso tofu bao bun or the like.

This plate lives or dies by the quality of the satay. Do not, I repeat, do not, buy some ultra-processed sh*t in a jar. Homemade satay sauce is both a revelation and a doddle. Unless you have a nut allergy in which case it’s a killer to steer well clear of (sorry).

For my version, I take a few large spoons of crunchy peanut butter to which I add a decent slug or three of dark soy sauce, some pineapple juice for sweetness and the juice of a lime for zing. If you want more flavour you can add finely minced garlic and some chilli flakes, and perhaps a teaspoon of sesame oil. Add a bit of water to loosen it if needed. Play about until the taste and texture are as you wish.

Do the splodgy swirl on a plate thing, top with lightly steamed purple-sprouting, some toasted sesame seeds and you’re done. Delicious, nutritious and instantaneous.

Stay cool people, until next week, when I shall be Substacking from Barcelona. 🪭