Can't Be Arsed | Hotdogs

F*ck it. No, really.

After last week's heavenly food porn from luscious Lympstone, I’ve gone from the sublime to the ridiculous. This week has been chaos, so I’ve hardly had time to breathe never mind to cook.

This one barely even needs any words. Assemble the things in the pictures, all available from your local supermarket.

If you can be a tiny bit arsed though, it is worth making these lush onions. Chop a red and a white onion, and fry until golden.

Add tomato ketchup, revolting American yellow mustard (no fancy french shit for this one), honey, cider vinegar, tomato puree and Worcester sauce.

Until it is sweet and sticky and looks a bit like this…

Assemble. Bun. Hotdog. Dried onions. Fried unctuous onions. Cheese.

Eat. Feel a bit guilty. Decide not to care. Wash down with copious wine and go to bed, for tomorrow is another day.

In other news this week my FABULOUS friend

Milli Hill

published her fourth book called “Ultra Processed Women” which is all about how eating shite food like my “recipe” above is particularly bad for you. (Also FOUR books. FML most of us will never even get to one!!).

So after you’ve eaten my food filth, do please absolve yourself by buying a copy and doing better for your body tomorrow and beyond. Ultra Processed Women

To celebrate the publication, I’ll be having a wine or three with with Milli in the garden this evening (great news, wine is not ultra processed, we checked) and I will be bringing buckets of the most heinous UPF snacks that I can find :)

Cheers!