Halfway between Despair and Barnsley

aka Restaurant Review | Shell Garage and McDonalds

From one extreme to the other this week, after the luscious joys of the Scarlet hotel tasting menu, it’s back to reality with a very, very big bang.

Travelling for work, I arrived late to my Premier Inn. Cold, dark, tired, somewhere in Yorkshire, to discover no on-site pub/restaurant and therefore a need to fend for myself refreshments wise.

Ta-dah to my joyous and nutritious spread from the McDonalds and the petrol station over the road. A bottle of warm wine, a glorious double cheeseburger, some nuggets and all the sauces, enjoyed at my in-room desk area, as the man in McD’s wouldn’t let me drink my wine in there. Outrage. 🤦‍♀️🤣

I am not sure that my experience quite chimed with the Premier Inn’s key-card marketing vibes…

Nonetheless, this foodie hotel wondrousness inspired some on-the-road Poetry of Corporate Life…

If you like a good view of a motorway

Or a distribution centre

Enjoy cold, damp and mould

And the lack of bar and restaurant

At the end of a long drive and day

This is indeed the bed of your dreams

If you love a McDonalds takeaway

And a warm-ish bottle of white

from the Shell garage that time forgot

In a tiny tumbler with a straw

In your dank WiFi-less room

Then this is very much the bed of your dreams

If you fantasise about work travels away

In room 31a

Tucked away…

missing from the floor plan

with bizarrely differently coloured door

Then fall into this, the bed of your dreams.

Half way between despair and Barnsley.

Hurrah for the joys of luxury executive travel, hey! Hit me up with your favourite experiences…