Ultimate Boxing Day Sarnie
Culinary skill = zero. Calories = 43,278.
For as long as I can remember, and in order to not clog the divorce courts on Christmas Day, I have been in charge of no food at all on 25th Dec - with the notable exception of the canapes and an occasional foray into the sous-cheffing of the veg.
However, come Boxing Day, when the whole concept of “meals” disappears entirely into the ether until the New Year, I very much step up in my hard hat and hi-vis as the fore-person of the all-day, all you can eat buffet, and the chief construction officer for the legendary Boxing Day sarnie.
Two things about this sandwich are set in stone, and must be relentlessly and deliberately shit. The bread has to be white Warburtons Toastie (lightly toasted) and the mayo the full-fat ultra processed deity that is Hellmans. No artisanal sourdough or hand cranked aioli here please or life, the universe and everything will all go to sh*t.
The bread and mayo rules aside, the rest of this delightful culinary assemblage is entirely as you please.
If you want the full sweet and savoury experience you can include Prawns, Smoked Salmon, Christmas Pudding, Mince Pies, After Eights, Quality Street, crushed Cheeselets. For the world, and the Boxing Day sanger, is your oyster.
For my relatively reserved effort this year I went roasted ham, roast turkey, cranberry sauce, mayo, two types of stuffing, pigs in blankets, and just the five types of cheese - cheddar, lancashire, stilton, chaorce and smoked.
Alcohol pairing is anything you still have left in the house. Could be a delicious glass of Small and Small Sylvia reserve, a glass of flaccid champers because no one could find the fizz-keeping stopper, a snowball, or the dregs of your mum’s sloe gin from 1993.
So there you have it, the Boxing Day centrepiece. Nothing short of everything that you desire, caressed between two of Mr Warburton’s finest slices, savoured in front of a roaring fire as you snuggle beneath your fluffy blanket while Wallace and Gromit, Shrek, The Gruffalo’s Child and all the Christmas Specials whirl around your TV recs.
Cheers 🎉😊
Ever since I was 4 Boxing day food won hands down ;-)
I concur. Though I didn't have Warburton's Toastie this year due to being too well prepared this year and having M&S thick sliced in, which is our usual loaf.
However I have discovered mashed potato filled with meats including sliced pork meat stuffing as a sort of square section sausage, baked beans, cheese on top and lashings of HP sauce is a pretty good left overs meal.