#Unf*ckupable Fork Biscuits

Mary Berry Triumphs (again)!

It’s been far too hot to eat anything substantial recently so this week it is the world’s simplest, sweetest snackette.

I bloody love cooking, but cannot bake to save my life. I am hopeless, largely because I can’t be arsed with the precision of measuring or the patience of cooling things, so generally whatever I touch in baking-land turns instantly to sh*t.

With two notable exceptions - both courtesy of baking goddess Mary Berry. Even I can’t f*ck up her gooey chocolate brownies, nor her fork biscuits. These take about ten minutes and are so simple even my dog could make them. If only she had opposable thumbs, and was tall enough to reach the flour in the larder cupboard.

The delicious, bite-sized morsels are a fantastic accompaniment to a lemon posset or the like, and are equally wonderful eaten by the bucket-load with a cup of tea or an iced coffee.

Pre-heat your oven to 180c (in this year’s UK Summer it’s probably at that temperature already tbf) and either grease or greaseproof paper up a baking tray. Take 100g of softened butter in a bowl and soundly beat it (I used a electric whisk, but you can use a fork and elbow grease if you’re old skool or in the middle of a power cut), gradually beat in 50g of golden caster sugar and finally beat in 150g of self-raising flour.

That’s it! Ditch the beater or fork and gently use your hands to bring the mixture together into a golden, crumbly dough. Form the dough into small balls and place well apart on the baking tray. Dip a fork in water and use it to squidge and flatten the biscuits.

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden. Sprinkle with a touch more caster sugar and leave to cool completely.

For some citrus zing, add the grated rind of an orange or a lemon to the recipe above when you add the sugar. For a chocolate version, reduce the flour to 120g and add 15g of cocoa.

Devastatingly simple. Moreish. #Unfuckupable. They probably keep in an airtight container for a week or so, but we have never experienced this in our house, so I’ve no idea. (a bit like when recipes ask you to use “leftover wine”. I mean, WTAF is that?!) For Mary’s equally brilliant chocolate brownies, head here to Chocolate Brownie Bliss

And it goes without saying that I absolutely have to ask for today’s comments to be filled to the rafters with nominations for your favourite and least favourite biscuits - off you go keyboard warriors!